So, Why "Not Your Baby Mama"?
When deciding to write a blog about my life, mishaps, joys, adventures, traumas, and dramas as a single mother, I simply couldn't stop myself from mulling over the fact that I really don't like the terms "Baby Mama" or Baby's Moms"...[yuck]! Besides leaving a bad taste in my mouth and mind due to all the negative connotations associated with Baby Mamas... the term itself if just simply inaccurate...in the long term.A human is baby for a relatively short time. Does one stop mothering a child independently merely because the child has reached toddler age, school age, adolescent, teen, young adult, adult? Surely not! I have a nine year old and a baby and two in between. I parent them all! I am committed to each one of them...I'm not just the Baby's Mama...
Aside from the erroneous nature of the term I find it dismissive. "Baby Mama"... like anyone can do it? Yeah Right(... do bare with me I have side conversations with myself) Being a committed, active, and attentive parent is all encompassing whether single or married... Now being a single parent is double duty... twice the effort and responsibility and half the credit.... as if motherhood wasn't a thankless enough job. Now don't get me wrong there is no way a mother or father worth their salt is in this for the praise and accolades. Parenthood is a labor of love and a glad sacrifice and when done in light of God's Word and ways it produces a legacy.
That term Baby Mama conjures all kinds of negative imagery:
-irresponsibility
-excessive drama
-money hungry
-constantly in the club
-desperate
-defensive... and the list , like to beat goes on....
Once I had a woman ask me "did I like being a mother?"... I responded "yes" while I swallowed all the expletives I wanted to unleash on her back down my throat. What gave this woman, a mother herself, the right to ask me if I "liked" being a mom? Was it the fact that she was married? I sure hope not because poor, discontented, unhappy, trifling, neglectful, and pitiful mothers come in all shapes, sizes, and demographic groups.
Every single mother I consider myself close to is serious about their role a sole caretaker and passionate about the precious children entrusted to their care. We are parents in the good and the bad with support and without and our commitment is not one of convenience its one of sure love and dedication.
Call us strong, call us committed, call us determined, call us tired and overwhelmed at times but Not Your Baby Mamas
posted by Mama Misha @ 7:24 PM
2 Comments:
I agree, I don't like the term or usage of baby mama for some strange reason I feel that it is demeaning and doesn't give my role, duties and responsibilities adequate justice, support or glory. As you stated I am not just a baby mama, if it was that easy to put into words those who help create and carried a precious life would love, honor and respect their role, duty and responsibility of being a parent........wow I many be many things but baby mama is not now or will it ever be in the description of ME!!!
Alright not misha, love your blog and I second that, why on earth did we get that baby mama and baby daddy term, from that song lol but seriously i don't like the term and I try not to use that at all I too am a single parent and I don't like to be called a babymama for those that don't really care about the term i'm not knocking but i do my best not to use it and for the most part i don't... and I second what you said Keayon as well, Baby mama is not I..I'm a mother with tons of duties and responsiblities that i take pride in doing for my child as I'm sure any mother/father or parent of some sort does as well :-)
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