Not Your Baby Mama

I don't care for unsolicited advice!  It bothers me.  It shows my immaturity in some respects, but I do believe the best advice is asked for. I have to learn to discern the difference between people's flighty, unsolicited, uneducated, and unwarranted opinions and sound advice, wisdom, and reason.  For instance, I don't like when people who don't have children give me parenting advice.... To me it's really absurd.  Now I understand there is common sense and obvious observations anyone can make.  For instance I don't have to be fire fighter to tell you your house is burning down... But you'd sure like a trained fire fighter ( a few of them too, with proper equipment) to put out a 5 Alarm blaze.

Now don't get me wrong, we can learn something from everyone!  Truly!  Yet, there is a reason there are specialists in the world.  Do you want a family practice doctor to remove your brain tumor?  I mean I would if I had to choose between him and a lawyer .... but you catch my drift....

Sometimes, I feel that anyone thinks they can give parenting advice.  I hear people say...if I had a child I would xyandz or when I have children I would never ... bla bla.  Everyone is a theoretical genius when it comes to parenting.  I mean everyone...  People are quick to say what you should do or what they would do when the truth is they have no clue!

So here is my Unsolicited Advice on giving advice:

• Ask yourself....did anyone ask me?
• Ask yourself...do I really KNOW what I'm talking about..(do I have any experience in this area)?
• Ask yourself...will or can my comments do more harm than good?
• Ask yourself...is this really the right time?
• Ask yourself...what qualifies me to speak into this person's life?  (Am I a loved one, do I truly care bout this person or do I just want to get my point across?)
• Ask yourself...when was the last time sowed anything into this person's life? (People usually take advice better from someone who has more to give than just his or her opinion)

• Ask yourself...is this person truly in a position to receive and understand what I am saying?  (There are seasons in people's lives where they just need compassion or a LISTENING ear?
• Ask yourself...what is my motive?
• Ask yourself...is what I am saying even true?????
• Ask yourself...did God tell me to share this with this person?  (if at all and whenever possible, pray before giving advice)
• Ask yourself...what areas of my life can I apply my own advice..?

Words to avoid when given advice:

• Should!  you should...
• Need to! you really need to
• Can't! you can't...
• Have to!...

Word that may be helpful in giving advice:

• Have you considered....
• In my experience...
• This may work for you....
• It's really your choice...

More than words I have need action and examples in my life.  People who show are usually more effective than those who tell.